Tuesday 30 September 2014

If Only Someone Would Point Out The Direction

If only someone would point out the direction then I might be able to find my way back through this purple haze all around me.

I know my friends won't let me down but I'm so far away from home. I hope they haven't forgotten me, as much as my memories keep on fading in and out I've not forgotten them and I'm trusting that our memories are tethered to each side of a rope, I just need to follow them.

Come on think, focus, remember.

Monday 29 September 2014

Of That I Am Certain

Focus, oh yes if I focus I can see, getting nearer, getting clearer, images through my mind getting sharper, yes so much clearly of that I am certain.

I can see four of my friends, four from before, going about their daily business sitting, watching and waiting. Bring me back my friends, find a way to bring me back, invoke my friends the power of four!

A Way Forward

Hang on a minute what's that?

I can sense something coming towards me, swirling around, a light in the distance, coming at me through the purple haze of my mind.

Concentrate, concentrate.

Yes definitely a light somewhere moving closer. Right somehow I must try and move towards the light but I still can't move. I must focus, focus it could be a way forward!

Saturday 27 September 2014

But What If You Went Back In Time?

Time is a funny concept and I've got plenty of time to think about it stuck here in this void, all the time in the world, it's all I can do at the moment, think about time.

Daddy was always talking about time, so maybe it's rubbed off on me. So many theories so many memories of the past and thoughts of what was coming up he was always going on about the possibility of time travel. Oh how I wish I had time travel I would certainly use it to go back and see everyone again but according to Daddy whatever happened happened and if we mess with time it could have dire consequences.

There's something called the grandfather paradox what if you went back in time met your grandfather and somehow changed something that would mean that you was never born. If you were never born how could you have gone back in the first place? Interesting theory I think but if I had the chance I'd still take the chance.

Maybe, if I think hard enough about time I could do something about what has happened and somehow get myself out of this hole I seem to be stuck in.

I've no other plan, floating and drifting here.

Right think, time, what reminds me of time? A clock does but that's too mechanical, too man made, I need something that is natural. Yes NATURAL TIME!

Thursday 25 September 2014

Time Means Nothing

Dreaming, drifting, growing and stretching, hour upon hour, time means nothing here. 

I've no idea how long I've been stuck in this place or even why I'm here to begin with but it feels like there's a purpose. Oh how I wish George was here, we've been through so much together but I'm having trouble joining the dots of my mind, my thoughts floating somewhere between here and there, warm thoughts.

George was the first to see me before, when I came back from the other side, that other strange place so maybe, just maybe if I think hard enough we'll manage to find a way to find each other again.

Wednesday 24 September 2014

Never Forget

I'm still feeling very queezy but I must ignore it, it's beginning to distract me, taking me away from my memories. 

Right think of things from before, Dreamies, yes Dreamies oh how I loved the taste, sharing them with my friends, under the moonlight back of the garden but I can't seem to remember who with. Why can't I remember?

Garden yes focus on the garden, picture it tand remember it, flowers and grass, ah yes the grass how I loved sitting on the grass in the summer sun, warmth and fun, sand lots of noise, laughter and...laughter and something else.

What's that noise? 

Barking yes barking, a dog barking, RIVER! 

Oh River yes I remember you how could I ever have forgotten you, you were such a big part of my life, oh how I miss my little sister all paws and licking, how she irritated me in the beginning and how I grew to love her with all my heart. Never forget, I must never forget if I'm to find my way back home from the strange, strange place.

Tuesday 23 September 2014

The Thing Is, To Keep On Remembering

Oh my, my mind is fading in and out and I'm feeling sick. I'm feeling like I'm forgetting things that just a week or so ago I could remember so clearly, strange changes, strange times. The thing is to remember, remember the past, remember my friends, remember what has been that way I won't forget and if I ever get the chance I may just be able to find my way back home before the separation becomes too great.

Think, think, how can I remember, think, think. George, George, images of George, imprint on my memory, imprint George. Come on think.

George my good friend, weepy old eye,
Kissed us girls and made some cry
When the boys came out to play
George my friend he ran my way

Monday 22 September 2014

Working Cat Spells!

Three come together, three loyal friends, three voices chanting,  powerful swells. 

The universe hears and nods in agreement and so magic begins, working cat spells!

Touching Everyone

I'm feeling a change going on, a change within me, a new season begins it feels.

I'm still not too sure what's going on but I can feel more movement within me and those near me, next to me, touching everyone. I still can't stretch out properly, everything feels tingly, spiky almost, pins and needles in my mind, coming to life, waking up but still so tired, renewal, yes a new season has definitely began.

Sunday 21 September 2014

Spinning, Spinning Around

Oh my legs I've been in the same place too long, thinking, just thinking of my friends that are no longer around, I wonder what's going on with them, wherever they may be?

Ouch, that feels weird, I really need to stretch them out, get them moving again. I know what I'll try spinning, spinning around, see if that position is more comfortable and I get get rid of this numb feeling, yes I must make that a priority.

Saturday 20 September 2014

Magic's Coming Back

Closer and warmer, the others are next to me now, a sort of known unison between me and my travelling companions. Warmer I feel warmer and stronger I grow and stretch my limbs I'm beginning to feel again.

I can't move them yet, not through my own free will I can't, but yes I can feel my legs again for the first time in so long, for the first time since going down that rainbow hole.

I'm so happy, another emotion that I'm able to remember now. I'm glad for that old friend of mine. Some memories I forget while others grow stronger. I suppose if I needed to remember something then I would and if it's gone it's gone for a reason, no need to worry, peace of mind surrounds my soul.

I'm feeling so much better now, like I've had a rested sleep and am just about to wake up and stretch out all the bubbles in my bones, rejuvenated again. This is more like it, that old magics coming back!

Friday 19 September 2014

What's This Twist?

What an ever changing winding path this life business is all about. 

I ask myself and what's this twist all about? I ask myself that question in some many different ways as I pause here, pondering, waiting for something I know not what?

But the question is futile, no matter how many different ways I try to ask it. The answer? I know not and I'm not sure I ever will. I only know it approaches I can feel the others around me coming to life, stirring, wakening, warm around me, asking their own questions, trying to understand themselves.

That gives me comfort, I no longer I feel like I'm in this on my own.

Thursday 18 September 2014


Thoughts of a place my heart once called home keep coming to me in my dreams and yet I find I don't recognise anything. Familiar yet so new to me. 

Different times are here already, newer times approach but I still long for the past. For now I listen out for the call of old voices in silence.

Bringing Me Back

My mind drifting around, floating around lost in a maze, drifting without control. 

Time passes quickly now and yet so slowly, dibble dabble dibble dabble both at once, dancing a bizarre tango, bringing me back and shooting me forward as it wishes. 

I feel more things moving inside of me, more than before but I can't look down to see what, I can't move at all, not through my own will I can't. I just move and change and drift and think as I can, as my will allows. 

I now find, that I've been here a while that I like the peace and solitude, although I feel this will not be for long as I can hear, no correct that I sense others around me.

The same thing happening time and time again.

Wednesday 17 September 2014

Friends From Before

Friends, my friends from before, how I miss you and wish you were here with me now.

Maybe one day we'll see each other again? How I have no idea but I still hold out such very high hopes. How I miss you all and how I spend my time thinking of you. Maybe, just maybe if I wish enough, I'll get lucky and maybe just maybe I'll get to see you again someday.

This Universe Is Bigger Than You Think

Thinking and floating that's all I can do so as I've no choice but to float at least I can have some control over the thinking portion of the programme and do you know what? I've been thinking about the universe! This universe is bigger than you think! 

I've not much else left to do but think so I may as well explore it.

It's such a big place and maybe, just maybe that's what's happened to me. Maybe I'm lost in some part of my universe but one that is unfamiliar to me. It may be such but also maybe that's what happens down that hole, confuse and reinvigorate. 

I don't feel like I did when I went to the other side but I don't feel like I did before I went to the other side either, such a conundrum I find my mind in. 

It's all a bit of a no mans land here, somewhere between the two although I've no idea how that's possible but lets be honest, everything that has happened to me for such a time has been impossible so maybe the impossible just is possible after-all.

Tuesday 16 September 2014

Floating This Way And That

Floating this way and that, bubbles in a bath, horses on the waves, little by little the feelings grow. Tiny electric shock as bubbles burst inside of me and double, double in size all the time, twins dancing around my universe.

I don't think I can remember feeling like this before although it feels familiar but how can that be, I've not been here before, have I?

Growing but getting smaller, delusions, remembrances, fairies dancing all around. Maybe madness is playing tricks on me but... I am now beginning to feel stronger than I was. 

Everything that has happened, is happening, must be taking it out of me, yet as time goes by I feel stronger. It's not an unpleasant sensation. Not unpleasant at all! Floating this way and that!

Monday 15 September 2014

Oh That's Strange

Oh that's strange, I can feel something moving inside of me, it's small but it's expanding. It feels like I'm being stirred somehow but it's all a part of me, everything that's being mixed up.

Yes I can definitely feel something's different now. I'm feeling flushed, yes flushed pink but not  embarrassed, no there's no such emotion in me. 

Close my eyes and imagine, see if that sense of me is still alive and active. 

Yes, yes it is, I see something although I'm not sure what it is. I still can't see anything out of my eyes, I've no idea if I even have eyes anymore, everything floating, this way and that, expanding and growing but I feel I am moving in the right direction. Do I turn left or right? Let's wait and see.

Sunday 14 September 2014

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Dream a little dream of me. Yes if that's the closest way we can be together then just dream a little dream of me.

What Sort Of Game Is This?

Feeling much better today.

Mind you I don’t know if it’s day or night, everything dark, still can’t see. I can’t even feel my eyes. 

Horrible predicament but strangely I feel like I’ve no need to feel fear. I’m feeling stronger now, whatever happened to me seems to have given me a new lease of life even if I don’t feel. Maybe this is an out of body experience. Yes maybe that’s it!

Need to think, need to work it out but everything takes such a great deal of effort and I’m feeling…well I don’t know what but I’m feeling changed! 

What sort of game is this? What game is being played on me? Oh it's all but a game!

Saturday 13 September 2014

I Must Be Dreaming

Dreaming, I must be dreaming. This must all be a dream.

Thoughts of friends and loved ones keep on floating through my mind. They seem to real though and yet I can't remember this as happening.

Mogsie, my Mogsie and George to, sitting, sunning themselves in the early Saturday sunshine. Days of the past and yet now as well. I so wish they were here now so I wasn't alone but I wouldn't want them to participate in this confusion either.

Oh how I hope I get to see them again.

The Past, The Present, The Future!

The past, the present, the future!

All alone quiet, others give me warmth. Gentle movement up and down, in and out. Still attached but feel OK. So much time to think, everything feels slow and I feel like I’m changing, I feel it inside.

Odd shape, I’m an odd shape, not me at all.

Feel like I’ve been here forever, no longer scared though. No longer anything!

Ooh what’s that I feel?


Friday 12 September 2014

Something's Attached To

Ooh that’s strange, I feel like a plant.


All planted up, ready for Spring, like a flower going to come shooting right up.

What am I thinking, I’m not a flower, but I feel planted? Very firmly routed.

Hang on, something's attached to me?

Panic. Panic!

I'm attached, I'm attached to something!

I'm so very, very confused.

Pretty bubbles in the air...

Thursday 11 September 2014

Do Not Forget It, It's Vital!

Great sleep, tired but rested, but tired again, no energy, feeling weak but rested.

All settled, everyone settled. Feel them just there. Just right next to me, feel their warmth.

Hello? Who’s there?

Can anyone hear me?

Bubbles, bubbles all around. I'm forever blowing bubbles.

Of course they can’t I’m not speaking I’m just thinking these things. How can I speak when I can’t feel my mouth? I can’t feel any part of me. Must not forget who I am, do not forget it, it's vital!

What’s happening to me?

Why can’t I feel myself?

Free Book Downloads River's Songs - Teddy Bear Tales My First Winter & My First Spring

September 11th - 15th
(applies to amazon.com and amazon.co.uk)

Available now on 

River's Songs, Tales of a Teddy Bear 
Volume 1 - My First Winter 

River, a cheeky and mischievous 8 week old Shih Tzu puppy, says goodbye to her family on the coast and moves inland to begin the next fun-filled chapter of her life. Her wide eyed enthusiasm for adventure and her excitement at exploring this new world is shared with Nadia, an independent tortoise with a love for running, and Lil' a kind but cautious cat, both totally unaware that their settled lives were about to be transformed with the arrival of trouble! 

No one knew exactly what to expect but it wasn't long before everyone was learning that River wasn't just a cute, inquisitive, bundle of fun, she brought with her a special kind of magic, a magic that touched everyone she met, a magic that changed lives!

These are Rivers songs to the world, a place where children and adults alike are invited to enter the world of River, Nadia and Lil' and discover their own special kind of magic too!

Rivers Songs, Tales of a Teddy Bear - My First Winter, introduces River to her new extended family who would become her guardians, her friends, her teachers and students and join in with River’s wonderment of her first Winter, Christmas, snow and taste of love!

Rivers Songs, Tales of a Teddy Bear - My First Winter is the first of 4 volumes exploring Rivers first year of her new life through the seasons. Great for adults, children, animal lovers and if you just fancy having a bit of a laugh at a silly little puppy!

"River's Song, Tales of a Teddy Bear: My First Winter is a lovely read for Shih Tzu lovers! For that fact, any dog lover would enjoy this book which has been illustrated and brings this adventurous Shih Tzu to life as he "tells" his story."

"Oh what a lovely book, really well written and the pictures are beautiful, so made me smile and really worth reading."

"Awesome easy read!! Excellent clever humour and gives excellent explanation of the feelings and views from a dogs point of view. A must read for anyone!"

River's Songs, Tales of a Teddy Bear 
Volume 2 - My First Spring

Now that Spring has arrived River’s gained greater freedom and she’s even more inquisitive than ever, making sure everyone joins in! During Winter her new family had begun to get an idea of how things were going to be now that River had arrived and sprinkled them with her magic. Now it’s Spring, River is making sure they get it!

Rivers Songs, Tales of a Teddy Bear - My First Spring continues Rivers adventures with her friends,  join River as she goes on her first holiday,  starts a sit down protest, finds the Chamber of Secrets, meets Nep the Tunnel Monster, tries skating on ice, learns sign language and enters her own Land of Oz. 

River is changing as she bids Snow White goodbye and says hello to River The Wonder Dog, and discovers a passion for show jumping!

These are River’s songs to the world, a place where all are invited to enter the world of River, Nadia and Lil' and discover their own special kind of magic too!

 " River's Songs, Tales of a Teddy Bear: My First Spring is just as delightful as River's Songs First Winter. A book for all ages of dog lovers and especially those who have a love of Shih Tzus!"

Wednesday 10 September 2014


This is very strange!

Not felt this before.

No I have! I have felt this before. So long ago I remember.





Not that, not what I need to remember.

So tired, can’t remember what I need to remember.

What do I need to remember?

Ah this! I remember this!

Tuesday 9 September 2014

Back Home

Awake. Alert.


What's that? Seeing something, remembering something. I just saw something in my mind, home, back home.

Ah home, how I wish to be home again, missing it. Familiar I want familiar again.

Chameleon! CHAMELEON! I remember. He looks so sad.

Hang on I don't remember this happening but I do remember him. I'm so confused did I dream this?

What Direction Have We Gone?

Stopped. I’ve stopped! A new place

Where am I?

Listen out. Listen closely.

No can’t hear anything. Nothing!

Other’s stopped to.

What direction? What direction have we gone?

All around others stopping.

Silence and warmth. Warm like the sun, yellow sun, beautiful sun.

Oh what's that? Strange sensation!

Feel movement in me.

Safe, grounded.

Yes stopped but still everything moves closer, everything grows.

Monday 8 September 2014

Together But The Question Is?

Moving, I’m on the move.

Where am I going?

What direction?

Moving forward. Just feel I’m moving forward.

How do I know that? I just do! Let it go. Go with the flow. Can’t not.

Picking up speed. I’m not alone.

Others follow, others ahead.

Right think, think clearly where am I heading? Where are we heading?

Together. But the question is where?

Still can’t see!

What can I feel? Yes what do I feel?

I feel mellow, marsh mellow. Mellow yellow!

Yes I’m moving but mellow, yellow stands all around. Moving closer, slowly closer.



Sunday 7 September 2014


Joined? As one? 

Just one. All for one. One for all.... 



No, not scared! CALM.

Something's happened!

Something's changed!


Remain calm.


It is what is now.

Don't know what.

Am I mad?

Have I gone mad?

Is this what madness is like?



NO! Not madness!


Don't know!

Just happening...

Just happening...

Can't stop it.

Go, just let go.

Let go.

Saturday 6 September 2014



Hit me! Felt that! Feeling...


All over me.

Hit me. Something hit me.


It hit me!

Still can't see. 

Try! TRY to see.

No luck. Unlucky.

Oh what's happening!

Where am I?

Strange place, scared!

Help! HELP!

Friday 5 September 2014



When did I sleep? Not slept long time.


What's that? Near.

Feel near.


Didn't see me. 


Still. Everything still.


Another and another. Feel them close.

Very close by! Getting closer.

What's going on?

Thursday 4 September 2014

Things, I Feel Things!

I see! No... I feel!

I feel presence.

Who? What?

Colour. I feel colour?

How? ...

Red, yes RED!

I feel red?

No sense. Nonsense.

Things.Things around me!

Think. What?


I have thoughts!

Remember. Must remember.


Remember what?

Remember. Remember...

The 5th of November.


Things, I feel things. Yes remember things. Warm, yes warm.

Ah warm things.

Familiar. Before. Same.

Things before.

Must remember!

Wednesday 3 September 2014

Now It Begins!




Gnome? G-Nome?








Others come!

NOW! Now it begins!

Tuesday 2 September 2014

Fate Decides!

Close Now!


Eyes. Open.



How long.....Asleep?



Sound, hear. Somethings coming.

Hearing it. Rush.


Again. Listen


Hear them rush.




Close now!

Monday 1 September 2014

Lucky Or Unlucky?

A New Adventure Begins - The Black Cat Tale

Silence, just silence!


Ears. EARS!

Can't hear.

Ringing, faint.


What's that? Long way.

Tired. Sleep!


Wake! Can't see.

Who's there? Someone's there!

Colour! What? No!

Head. Head.

Who am I?


Cat. CAT!

Remember. Remember. What? Who said that?


Can't see!

Dark. Black. Black cat.

Who's there?

See. Move. Something comes!


Dark. Dark. Black.

Black cat tale? Tail! No! What?

Gone! Dark.