Wednesday 26 February 2014

What I've Learnt So Far

Even though I can no longer feel the heat of the sun I can appreciate it and so decided to remain outside while I did my thinking.

Settling down underneath the Swinging Heart of Love, always one of my favourite places, I started to make a mental note of what I had learnt so far.

  1. I didn't appear to be afraid of things that I once was.
  2. I couldn't feel any heat, nor cold
  3. I never needed to eat
  4. I couldn't be seen
  5. I didn't need to sleep
  6. My presence can be felt, sometimes
  7. Blowing was a good way of attracting attention
  8. I can sometimes be heard
  9. I did still feel emotion

Well I'm not sure what this all means and how this can be my answer but The Wiseman said it would help me to review everything I know.

Right onto the second part my motivation. Well I came back because I didn't want to go, I came back because I loved my Daddies and River, I came back because I had the opportunity to. Yes that's why I came back but that's got little or nothing to do with being heard sometimes and not at others.

Right, think Lil', think!

What was going on when George heard me?

Well I was frustrated, I remember that and a little bit angry, oh yes annoyed and frustrated. Um, what else? Well George knew I was there. Yes he knew he was there so he would have been listening out for me, but then again he was listening out for me on the times he couldn't hear me as well.

Surely it can't be because I was frustrated, no that can't be it. What was my motivation, that's what The Wiseman said. This is all very complicated.

Right review what I know about being heard.

  1. I was being listened out for.
  2. I was full of frustration and anger.

Daddy always said look beyond to see the truth. What's beyond frustration and anger? Then suddenly it hit me I wasn't trying, well I was of course but not like when I was really trying to make contact, it just came out of my mouth, I wasn't trying too hard I was just being real.

Ding, ding, light bulb moment, well at least it's more of an answer that makes sense than anything else I've come across.

I ran around the front to see if George was there but he'd gone. At least I have something I can try, just be, don't try too hard but have some real desire and emotion in my words. Oh how I wished I'd taken up acting lessons it would all be so much easier if I was trained!