Thursday 2 August 2012

Things I Must Do

Stay at home daddy has been enquiring today  if I ever get bored. He says I sit and sleep a lot but I don't know what he's going on about. Each day there are so many things that I must do that it's no wonder that I need to rest in between.

So, more for my own amusement because nothing much has been going on outside, I've made a list of things that I must do each day;

  • Sit on stay at home daddies feet when he goes to the toilet at night for a wee. This ritual must not be broken, it'll bring down some evil curse if not completed each time, no matter how tired I am.
  • Wake, stay at home daddy at the crack of dawn each morning. The alarm is set too late for my liking and by that time he's already disturbed me with his 'can't keep still in bed once the sun's up feet' so I may as well get a stroke out of him even if it is a sleepy half hearted attempt.
  • Monday to Fridays only, get my morning pad and stroke ritual out of the way before he disappears with disappears through the day daddy, for a few minutes. Not chuffed if this one is ever missed off the list, it gets the day off to a bad start.
  • Say bless you every time without fail that, disappears through the day daddy, sneezes. I ignore stay at home daddy when he sneezes, it's a special thing just between us two.
  • Smile in a 'what on earth are you doing way' each time, stay at home daddy, tries to get me to repeat the bless you by pulling some silly face and making some sort of screaching sound, he's a long way to go before he can speak cat.
  • Run and jump over the sofa in a race to beat stay at home daddy when he feeds me whiskers pouches. He likes the competition and it makes me laugh to see him try to get there before me, never beat me yet. 
  • Smell Nadia's wee every time she goes on the carpet, which is at least once a day. Boy can that Tortoise wee, still it never smells which is a bit of luck as I would not be impressed, I'm hyper clean I don't know why she can't follow my example, still I suppose it'd take her forever to get to the loo although she does walk rather quickly for a tortoise.
  • Make sure no other cat tries to break in when I'm not looking. Now this takes up at least 50% of my day so it's no wonder I'm tired at times.
  • Walk all over daddies laptop keyboard when he's typing, especially at night or when he's on the phone in his office. This one is for fun and so not actually a must do.
  • At least twice a day fool a daddy into thinking my food bowl is empty by talking loudly and looking longingly towards the hallway door where my dining equipment is even though it's always full up
  • And finally, I must, I repeat MUST sleep on the daddies feet at night. The like it, I like it, no apologies required.