Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Mogsie's Night With Troy Lamore

I only met him once, once was enough I guess.

Everyone had gathered around again and Mogsie stood up as he started to speak.

It was before I came here, in fact Troy Lamore is the one who brought me to Catworld.

I wasn't expecting that and looking around Doublay, George and the Naughty Twins I could see they were surprised too.

I was at the lowest ebb I've ever been, I was on my own 4 years old and I'd just come back from a day hunting and exploring excited to show Liam, my best friend and protector, a lovely strip of blue ribbon I'd found. 

Liam and I were very close, he and his mum and dad where all I'd ever known, although I was a little earlier home than normal I was sure he would have been home from school soon, except when I went to go through my door flap I couldn't get in.

I looked through into the kitchen and things looked strange, different. No piles of washing waiting to be hung out by the back door, no pots of chicken boiling on the cooker, no curtains or blinds at the window. Nothing!  

I rushed around the front and jumped up to look in the window. Inside everything had gone.

I didn't know what was going on and called out to Liam but he didn't hear me or come. I wandered around and around, trying to find a way in, maybe a door or window was unlocked and I could get in but nothing. 

By the time it started to get dark I began to think that maybe they weren't coming back. They'd been away before but I'd always had someone come in to feed me and my door flap was always open so I could come and go on my own but no one came to feed me that night nor the next.

By the third day it had sunk in and I realised they weren't going to be coming back. I had no idea where they'd gone and why I'd been left behind. After a while I stopped even trying to work out the answers, I couldn't feel anything but pain and longing for my little Liam.

I stopped eating, I couldn't be bothered. When the rain dried from my outside bowl I couldn't be bothered to go and find anymore water, all I wanted to do was sleep, personal care went out the window and my coat became matted and my bones protruded. 

I don't think I had ever felt so low, all I could think about was being cuddled up with my Liam on his bed, both of us watching cartoons and laughing together. Oh how I still miss the tickles he would give me under my chin and the gentle way he'd fall asleep holding my paw.

About a week after they disappeared some new people moved in and when they opened the door I tried to walk in but the lady screamed at me and threw some water at me. I knew where I wasn't welcome and wandered off. I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going just wandering through fields and over roads, past some lakes with beautiful swans floating on their surface. There once was a time I would have chased them and playing in the sun but at that time I didn't even care.

I found myself by a big road with lots of traffic on it, I was on a bridge, the one that goes over the tunnel down the bottom of the road. I was so low I didn't know what I was thinking as I sat on the bridge, I didn't care if I never moved from that spot again.

Hello up there!

I was startled, for the first time in what must have been weeks someone was calling out to be. I'd become such a mess that even though I'd seen a couple of other cats they'd crossed over the street to avoid me. I knew I was smelling a bit and guess they didn't want to come so close to a cat that had lost it's sense of cleanliness, we all know how much pride us cats take in grooming and if a cat stops doing that it's bad news.

I looked down and there right at the bottom was the smiling face of Troy Lamore.

What you doing up there my friend? He called up 

My friend. I'd not heard anyone call me their friend for so long, it felt good.

I looked back down but he was gone. Maybe he was a fragment of my imagination, maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, I'd not had a sip of water all day.

You OK my friend? A voice spoke next to me.

I turned to look at this handsome, kindly cat who was looking at me and smiling. 

I wanted to smile back but I didn't have the energy.

You look lost my friend, I don't think you are from around these parts.

No, I replied, I'm not. I looked behind me and indicated I'd come from the direction of the hills in the distance. 

Looks like you've come a long way, Troy replied. You must be hungry, and he produced a piece of salmon from a bad he had hanging from his hip.

Salmon, oh how I loved Salmon, Liam would feed little bits of it to me, laughing as he sneaked it off his plate and into my mouth.

I looked at him, not sure whether to take it or not. I suddenly for the first time heard my stomach growl, maybe the proximity to food was making me hungry and I gently took it from him and started to eat. I can still taste that little bit of salmon as if I'd just put it in my mouth a second ago.

So, are you lost? Troy asked again as I finished my first piece and another appeared in front of me.

Yes I was lost in more than just direction.

No I'm not lost, I've no where to go really.

No where to go! Troy exclaimed, everyone has somewhere to go!

Not me, I replied as he passed me some more salmon. No where to go, no one to love me, no one cares.

Hey my friend, someone cares and he smiled at me in such a loving way that I believed him. something about the calmness of his voice was soothing and he was certainly generous with the food and time.

I think I know what you mean though my friend, I too was once lost, lost in grief, lost in a land I knew nothing about. I felt very, very lost but not no more! Oh no not no more.

Here out of know where was a complete stranger who was giving me food and an ear and he might just understand.

I looked at him waiting for him to carry on but he didn't.

After a while he spoke again. I'm Troy Lamore what's your name my friend. I told him as he passed a small container of water. I was glad all that salmon had made me thirsty and I really needed something to wash it down with.

So, you said you were lost, I asked him.

Yes my friend, I was lost, heartbroken, I lost my love, she went away and I didn't think I could ever carry on.

Oh it was as if he was talking to me.

Ever lost anyone you've loved Mogsie? He asked.

Yes, I nodded and my eye moistened.

Tough isn't it.

I nodded again.

You know what though, sometimes, just sometimes these things don't have to remain lost. 

I looked at him quizzically.

He laughed. My love may be lost but I've never given up searching for her. Oh no, what else am I supposed to do, just give up. And then he stared at me intently right in my face, and lay down and die?

Ouch, it was if he had looked right inside of me and seen what my soul was trying to hide.

You should never give up you know Mogsie, sometimes, just sometimes something even better can come out of such a situation. Hey I've travelled all over the world and made so many friends, none of which I would ever have experienced unless I'd suffered that loss in the first place. Don't get me wrong do I wish she was here with me now, absolutely I do but I have to deal with what I have to deal with.

It made sense but I really wasn't in the place to look on the bright side even if I was feeling a little better now that I'd had something to eat and drink.

Ever had your heartbroken Mogsie? A gently, loving smile on his face.

Yes I had, and before I knew what I was doing I was spilling and telling him everything about what had gotten me here. All the while he just listened, nodding in appropriate places.

I must have talked for hours as the sun had long gone down when I finished.

And so here we find ourselves, Troy started. Both of us on the edge of this bridge, both of us heartbroken and both of us lost. So what are you going to do Mogsie? 

I didn't know what I was going to do. Troy just asking that brought me back to the moment at the top of that bridge where and I really didn't know what direction to go in.

I think he sensed something in my mind, doubt and he got up.

Come walk with me a while would you my friend, there's something I'd like to show you.

It was the least I could do, he'd shown me such kindness.

We began to walk and he told me all about his adventures and the exciting times he'd had all over the world. It sounded amazing and I wondered if he wouldn't mind a travelling companion. Apart from Liam I'd only ever had one friend before, Tommy, but he moved away along time ago and it's only been in the past year or so that we'd found each other again.

I could come with you. I said.

Suddenly Troy stopped and I found myself in a back garden looking in. There in front of me was a lady and a man watching television and chatting and laughing, a cat sat on the back of the sofa and seemed so happy. A warm glow omitted itself from within the house. It suddenly reminded me how lovely it would be to have a home again, soft cushions, warm meals, the heartbeat in the chest of a human next to mine. I wanted to go in and explore.

You like Mogsie?

I turned to Troy. 

Yes, er, but it's not my home. realisation dawned I couldn't just go in.

It could be! 

What do you mean? I asked

It could be your new home you know, and a better one I don't think you would find anywhere. These people have been chosen you know, chosen by the angels to look after Catkind. All you have to do is ask and it's yours for the living.

Nah they wouldn't want me, look at me.

Yes look at you, Mogsie the magnificent, did you not hear me, these people have been chosen by the angels, they are Catkind Guardians, surely even you know about Catkind Guardians.

Yes I had, every cat has it's part of our newborn instructions, our early learning years and as you know, a cat angel choice is a choice for life and a safe passage for any cat.

Or of course you could come with me? He tempted. 

Yes I could, even I knew I was now hesitating, I'm a home cat, I knew I was, if I hadn't been I wouldn't hurt so much.

He must have sensed my hesitation. 

Of course Mogsie, you could try it out here, just wander around them a bit and they'll let you in and make you a part of the family and if you ever changed your mind just call out my name and the word will spread and I'll come back and you can join me, travelling the high sea's.

He smiled.

Do you mean that?

Yes, he replied, I never say anything I don't mean.

He suddenly turned serious. 

Mogsie you may be cautious about getting your heart broken again but unless you take a chance you'll never experience the amazing joy it can bring. What if I was to tell you that you'll be happier here than you have ever been before and you'll never call out to me to come get you. Would you believe me?

I've no reason not too, I might have been exhausted but my catty powers well telling me he could be trusted.

The day they write your name and spread it across this land is the day you are welcomed into as a permanent part of the family Mogsie and you'll take your place at the head of the table. 

He laughed, although Twizzle, he nodded back towards the house, will never accept that, she rules the house, you'll rule the land.

Troy was smiling but there was something in his voice that demonstrated he was being deadly serious now.

Just remember that. It's of upmost importance for you to remember everything you've gone through and everything that's led you to this place at this time, for we all Mogsie, we all have a bigger purpose in life and if you choose to stay here, for it is your choice, you too will have a big part to play in a bigger purpose.

I was more than a little surprised for all this to be coming out and didn't know what to say.

I guess he must have seen the confusion in my face.

Mogsie, you trust me don't you?

Yes, it was out of my mouth before I even thought and I did trust him, he had saved me from making a terrible decision and now just hours later he was showing me the warmest thing my heart desired.

Mogsie if you stay I need you to help me. He got up and we started walking back down the pathway away from the house.

Of course I will, you've helped me after all.

I need you to do something that I feel you may not want to do but I need you to do it anyway, for a part of the greater purpose. It is of vital importance that you do this and don't reveal any of it until The Time Comes! You'll know when, but remember not until THE TIME COMES!

OK, I was hesitant, I really didn't know where this was going but I didn't want to misunderstand a single word he spoke. 

Troy put on his hat and adjusted it as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

The one who you'll love you can never be with, no matter how much your heart desires it. I need you to help them learn a lesson they are going to need to learn before a choice is made. I need you to break their heart, so they too understand. This is for the sake of all Catkind. You must never be with them!

Mogsie turned to me, a tear fell down his face and he mouthed;

I'm so sorry!